The Safety Button

As embarrassing as this is to admit, I have a safety button... on my pants.

So sue me, I'm cheap and when my favorite pair of blue jeans wore a hole in them I didn't get a replacement pair. Mainly because I was embarrassed to have to go buy jeans when I'm fat. I don't want more fat jeans. So I have another pair (I only have two pair, but now one is gone) of jeans that fit less well. To wear them I have to leave the top button unbuttoned.

Now, after all this weight loss (see the 12 pounds I posted about last Monday) I can fit into the jeans, still a little tight, but I can button the button. Which is great and I should feel amazing about this one little thing, just another thing to be proud of. But secretly I'm scared. Scared of that button. I'm scared to button it, even if it means that my pants stay up.

There isn't really a safety button in life, but I guess I just need to get over my bad self and button that button! I stood in front of a mirror and buttoned it and unbuttoned it deciding if it made me look fatter to have my pants buttoned or not buttoned. The sad thing is, these are the only pants I have that fit me. And I just feel better with it unbuttoned.

That's all I really wanted to say today.

Except that I've been hungry lately. And I haven't exactly not eaten out. I've tried to be really careful when we do go out, but its still hard. Bleh, I am not going to weigh this week. I'm not telling the truth, I just don't want to know though. Tomorrow I'll step on the scale. I just can't fall off the wagon again...