Things to Ponder

For my blog today I was thinking about how there are so many things that we all share. For example:

 

I was looking at a picture that my cousin took during a marriage retreat this past weekend. Everyone is smiling and look happy. There were several overweight men and women. And I got to thinking that there are so many personal battles that we feel comfortable sharing with others. Our personal feelings about past events, our problems in our relationships with other people. Problems with our marriages. We all feel like there are things in our lives that we can share with other people.

 

But being overweight isnt like that. Its not like I can go over to an overweight woman who is my friend and commiserate about how fat I feel today, or how big my thighs are getting. Or if she can tell if my double chin is getting bigger. Where as I can go to a married friend and we can talk about how our husbands are driving us nuts, how much sex we have, the problems we have in our relationships. And our married friends agree and sympathize.

 

What people dont realize is the way overweight people feel is the biggest secret in the world. You can't hide it. You can't do anything but feel like people judge you. For whatever reason you eat too much. Going and talking to someone about how overweight you are sometimes just makes you feel worse. Everyone is their own worst critic and no one likes to have their flaws pointed out and it takes a very strong person to voice their own flaws to themselves, much less someone else.

 

Eating can be such a private thing. Especially for people who are overweight. Who wants to eat and be judged for what they eat? Some times I feel its almost like hording. For some people they eat when they are upset or depressed. Being overweight is depressing, and that just makes them eat more, which fuels the fire and the cycle continues. Other times people eat when they are bored (like me) and have a problem stopping. Some people binge eat and that is another very private thing. You dont want people to know that you do this because it's something that makes the eater feel ashamed.

 

I think it all boils down to feeling ashamed of your body and ashamed of what you eat. I KNOW that I shouldnt eat too much or eat when I'm bored. But it's almost an unstoppable force.

 

I read a blog about this lady who had bought 2 cheese burgers and planned to eat them both, but when she got home her sister asked if she could have one, and she was so angry at her sister. Is this something that you feel? I know in the past that I've felt this way, I have felt so possessive of food. I would hate being asked at school by friends for some of my food. And when I said no, they would always wonder why. I really have no insights as to why people feel like this, but I know that I've felt this way and it shouldnt be this way. You should eat to fuel your body. Its not about who has more. I know I've been out to dinner with my husband and we've ordered the same dish and his looked like there was more. And I always wondered why would they give him more? Is it because I'm overweight? Or am I the only one that can see there is more on that plate? Why does it bother me so much?

 

I feel like we should all be more open, if we where maybe it would lead us all to making better food decisions. Knowing that someone has your back when it comes to food, and life style changes (notice I didnt say diets because I dont believe in diets) is one of the most amazing things in the world. Having someone to hold you accountable, to talk to about problems, to share ideas, work out sessions, food, or crazy days is something that I think gives you confidence and gives you the support system that you need to lose weight and be healthy. Why do you think Weight Watchers has meeings? Because you are out in the open talking about everything I just mentioned. You need that.

 

People and friends who are trying to lose weight, you arent alone! And if you ever want someone to talk to about your thighs, or double chin or how you have problems with food, I want to say that I will be there to listen and be an encourager and part of your support system. Mine is invaluable to me.

One of the blogs that I like to keep up with is Runs for Cookies. This lady has an incredible story and has lost a gob of weight and looks fantastic. I love what she wrote the other day about determination vs motivation. I think it defiantly puts in perspective for me what I need to focus on. Head over there to read the blog! Runs for Cookies