Day 3-4

So I didn't post this weekend, but I did workout. I have to say after 4 days of this I'm sore. Today is a run day and I'm looking forward to it. I'll head over to the gym after class tonight. On day 3 I did a Turbo Fire HITT workout for 20 minutes and yesterday (Day 4) I did a sculpting class and my legs and arms are killing me today! I've been tracking my food too! AND I lost two pounds last week! Huzzah! But I figured that would happen. I'm back to using My Fitness Pal because I'm broke and can't afford Weight Watchers. But its all good, as long as I'm holding myself accountable thats all that matters to me.

I've been thinking about something and it occurred to me today as I was washing my face and getting ready for class. I'm doing a series of photographs about beauty and how women use beauty products to feel better about themselves and I am showing the aftermath or the not so pretty side of beauty and what it takes to get there.

One of my friends (who shall remain nameless) got on to me for using hand lotion on my face… yeah I had no idea I should be using facial moisturizer. Who knew? I mean I didn't think it would make much of a difference. Well after talking to several of my friends and trying a few things out I got some Clinique and its amazing. It makes my skin feel and look great. I tried some stuff but it made my face hurt so I got their three step program because my face is SUPER dry and now its not at all!

All this comes to what I was thinking about this morning. When I started losing weight in the summer I started going shopping with my friend (the nameless one who has incredible taste in clothes and makeup) and getting cheap clothes that looked great on me and I started to dress better. I realized this morning that it doesn't matter if you lose 40 pound for 400, if you don't love yourself just the way you are, that you'll be unhappy no matter what your size is. Maybe thats not a revelation to you, and in the back of my mind I've always known it. When you don't feel pretty you don't want to look nice, which I think is why I've always hid in jeans and tshirts. I don't like the way I look and I don't feel like I deserve to look nice. Not that I've ever just flat out told myself this, but when I think of the name if this blog "How To Love My Body" I realize that this isn't just about losing weight. It really is about coming to terms with who I am no matter what size I am. And learning to be happy with that is what's important.

Because I do deserve to feel beautiful, I deserve to have a soft face, nice clothes, pretty makeup and to leave the house looking great- no matter what my size is. If you don't feel like you are worth it, and you don't love yourself for who you are right now, its never going to matter how much weight you lose. I can name 10 things I hate about my body right off the top of my head at any time of the day. Could I name 10 things I like about myself? I don't know…just something to think about as you go through your day.

I'll post my two videos later because I have to get to class!