TMI

This may be a "too much information" post so if you don't want to read it, feel free not to, but before I get to that point, (I'll leave a warning when I do get there) I'm going to show off my pictures. I should love to post pictures of me, but I still don't like the way I look. And I still feel icky posting pictures. But the cool thing about these pictures is that you can tell what a difference this workout (and diet) have made on my body.

Well I guess I don't have a lot to say about these except that you can tell a difference! I'm also wearing a different bra, and I should have thought about that. But the other bra doesn't fit like it used to.

I'm especially excited that my belly is going away. And I can tell a big difference around my face. I measured today and I've lost 2 inches off my bust, and 4 inches off my hips. I don't remember the measurements off the top of my head (I have them written down someplace) but yeah, you get the idea!

Now... (TMI Starts NOW)




Okay so, one of the annoying side effects of all this weight loss, is that about a two months ago I started to have a period every other week for two weeks. I have always had erratic periods, probably because of my weight, or genetics, or whatever. Who knows! So I decided to give the good 'ol gyno a call and set up an appointment.

I knew what they were going to tell me before I ever made the appointment, but I wanted to go to make sure that everything was good down there. Well I went a month ago and I totally hate all the instruments and such but hey, it just goes with the territory. My mom told me that they used to use metal pokey things that they kept in the fridge! Can you imagine?! Thank God they didn't keep them in the freezer or they would get stuck to your skin. That would be horrible...

Gynecologist to patient "Ma'am, sorry but it's stuck..."

What an awful mental picture. Anyway, they told me that I was going to need to get on birth control to regulate my periods. Well that's what I knew they would tell me. I can't stand birth control. I took it for about 3 months when I first started college, and I was a mess. I cried all the time and was a mood swing waiting to happen. And so I got off of it because it made me insane. Then right before I got married I decided to give it a go again, because maybe in my mind I was exaggerating how I had felt 6 years ago. Well I didn't exaggerate it because that was exactly how I was again, even with a different brand.

So you can well imagine that I DID NOT want to get on birth control again, but it was either that, or have a period every for 3 weeks out of the month. So I started (much to my husbands delight) birth control again. Sometimes I can tell that I'm getting over emotional in a situation that I normally wouldn't be so upset about, but for the most part, this brand of pill is working for me. I'm using Generess and I imagine its probably a REALLY low dose of it. I've spotted pretty much all month, but nothing like it was before. The Gyno said to give it 2 months, so on Thursday I'll start my second month.

Heres hoping that it turns out okay, because I don't want to get a shot, and I sure don't want an IUD... bleh! I have heard for women who haven't had kids they really hurt, and I don't want that. Plus I've also heard that your partner can feel it when you have sex. Not sure about the source on that one, heard it from a friend's sister :).

I guess this wasn't really a bad post, but I figure that you just gotta post whats going on in your life, and this is my life... if you don't like you didn't have to read it :)

Here is my calories for the day:

Breakfast: 1 cup cooked oatmeal, 1/2 cup blueberries, 1/2 cup strawberries

Lunch: 3 Lasagna Cups, Small Salad with 1/2 and apple and 1/2 tsp of oil and vinegar for dressing, 10 cherries

Snack: 2 eggs, 1/2 oz of pepper jack cheese, 1/2 portabello mushroom, 1/4 cup spinach, 1/4 cup cherry tomatoes, 1/2 cup carrots

Dinner: 4 oz crock pot chicken, 1 whole wheat tortilla, little lettuce and tomatoes, 1/4 cup black beans

Snack: Shakeology, 1 cup almond milk, 1 tbsp almond butter, 1 banana

(Same old same old.... pretty boring huh?)

Workout: TF Fire 45 EZ

Water: 4 liters

Total Calories: 2038

Mini Lasagna Cups + Good News!

I FINALLY lost 30 pounds!!!! I'm stoked about this! I can't believe it. I've done Turbo Fire and Shakeology for three months and I've lost 30 pounds. Tomorrow I'll post some pictures! I told Corey today that if I lose 10 pounds a month, by December I can have lost 90 pounds! But I'm not going to get ahead of myself here! Sometimes it's just good to take it week by week and month by month. Sometimes I can't even look months ahead because sometimes its all I can do to get through a day!

I realized just now that I am out of the 250s. That is totally exciting. And I can't wait to be even less. In the past three months I've had great weeks and not so great weeks (you can go back and read about them! Ha!) and I'm really impressed that I've been blogging that long! Usually I crap out about a month into it.

Besides the exciting 30 pounds, I didn't do anything really exciting to day. Although I have an AMAZING dinner for you! But first calorie breakdown for today:

Breakfast: 1 cup oatmeal, 1/2 cup strawberries, 1/2 cup blueberries

Snack: 1 nectarine, 10 almonds

Lunch: 3 Buffalo Chicken Egg Rolls, 3/4 cup roasted broccoli, 1/2 cup carrots, 10 cherries

Snack: 1 egg, 1/4 cup spinach, 1/2 ounce pepper jack cheese, 1/2 piece of flat bread, 5 cherry tomatoes, 1/2 cup carrots

Dinner: 3 Lasagna Cups, 1 cup of salad mix with 1/2 an apple, 1 tsp vinegar, 1/2 tsp olive oil

Snack: Shakeology, 1 cup almond milk, 1 tbsp almond butter, 1 banana

Thats it! Total: 1967 calories

Workout: 20 minute 5k training, HITT 15 (today was my day off too!)

Water: 4-5 liters

On to my recipe!!

I got the recipe off of Pinterest and I don't remember where, but whoever made this... they are so good!

Mini Lasagna Cups:

Makes 18

Ingredients:

• 1 pound raw ground turkey
• 1/4 tsp salt
• 1/2 tsp pepper
• 1 onion, chopped
• 1-2 portobello mushrooms (mine was HUGE so I only used one), chopped
• 14.5 oz can of crushed tomatoes, or tomato sauce (I used diced and it was great)
• 3 cloves of garlic, minced
• 3 tsp dired oregano, divided
• 2 bay leaves
• 1/2 tsp dried basil
• 15 oz of part skim (or low fat) ricotta cheese
• 24 small square wanton wrappers
• 1 cup of shredded mozzarella cheese

 Directions:

Preheat oven to 375. Heat a large skillet over medium heat. Add the turkey, onions, mushrooms, garlic, salt and pepper. Crumble the meat and sauté the mixture for about 10 minutes, or until turkey is cooked through.

Add the crushed (diced or sauce) tomatoes and 2 tsp of oregano and the bay leaves. Bring the mixture up to a gentle boil, then reduce heat to low and simmer for 10 minutes. Remove from heat and set aside.

Simmer for 10 minutes

In a large bowl, combine the ricotta, pinch of salt and pepper, leftover oregano, and the basil. Stir to mix well. Set aside.

Coat a 12-cup and 6 cup muffin tin with nonstick cooking spray. Place 2 wonton wrappers in the bottom of the 18 cups. I found that if you put them in diamond shaped, they tend to take up more space and overlap better, press the wrappers into the muffin pan.

Take the ricotta mixture and place it on the bottom of the muffin cups, dividing it up between the 18 cups. Then using the turkey tomato sauce, spoon it over the ricotta mixture. Sprinkle the top with the mozzarella.

Take the ricotta mixture and place it on bottom 

Then the Tomato Mixture

Lastly the Cheese

Bake for 10 minutes, or until the cheese has melted. Let them cool and serve them!

This is how hard the "kitchen crew" works

 These are so good! And, while I don't have kids, would be really fun for kids to eat! They are super easy and very tasty. If you have picky eaters, and they don't like turkey, I promise they would never know it wasn't beef. Honestly when I pulled them out of the oven, it looked just like beef.

I served mine with a salad made of baby spinach, carrots, apples, vinegar, lemon and olive oil.


 Calories: 158 for each cup! Not bad!

If you want to know all the nutrition info just let me know. I have it, just didn't write it all down!

I'm going to leave you with a picture of the "baby" sleeping.

Axel with a full belly! I want a giant pillow like this!

 

Baked Egg Rolls

Today was great! I'm not a super big fan of Father's Day. Don't have the best of dad's but I do have the BEST grandpa in the whole world. And I have the BEST father in law in the whole world. I often think that I wished I had him for a dad, but then I would have been my husbands sister... and that would have been weird. So I'm just thankful for Corey's dad!

In honor of Father's Day, me and my Papa two years ago at my wedding

So happy Father's Day to all those great dads out there! Make sure to tell all the father's in your life how much they mean to you!

Now! This week is the week of no eating out, yes I have gone for a month without eating out, but I plan to cook every night this week! I'm really excited about it and I have some awesome recipes lined up for the week. I'm doing this in an effort to make sure I'm counting my calories correctly and eating enough! Its really hard to count calories and eat out.

I'm not sure if I want to post the recipe first, or if I'm going to talk about my day... so I'm going with day first so if you want the recipe (SKIP TO THE RECIPE NOW!!!). When I go to blogs to read recipes, I like to skip the crap, you won't hurt my feelings! 

Now I didn't post about this earlier, mostly because I have had so much more to talk about, but Corey (my husband) is going to be gone for two months working in Huston. It's been a whole week without him and I miss him terribly. Usually he is gone for a week and comes home during the summer, when Best Buy sends him out to work in different stores. But this time they are working longer and at further away stores. He says in September he is going to be in DC for two weeks to work. I told him that I'm coming to visit the weekend that he is there... we'll see if that actually happens (but my bet is on me :)!) 

But the cool thing (and if you are counting calories and it might not be such a cool thing) is that I'm going to visit at the end of the month! We are going to the beach! Super excited about that! But I'll be away from home, I'm going to get a blender to bring with me so I can have my shakes and I'm working out while I'm down there too, because I just can't go 4 days without working out. Especially with all the eating I'm going to be doing! 

A side not about the bodybugg... I told Corey he should get one (because he is trying to lose weight too) and I sent him the one I had gotten and it is for sale for 99 bucks!!! Here is my referral to you, if I refer someone I get 25 bucks for my subscription and YOU get 20 dollars off your purchase!! How awesome is that?! To do that just send me an email at rachele(dot)smith(at)yahoo(dot)com (sorry about the email dots and at, I just don't want crappy spammers sending me email) and tell me that you want to be referred to get 20 bucks off your bodybugg! Or here is the LINK to buy one without a referral from me. Either way, it's a great little thing to have. I don't even notice it on my arm any more and I absolutely love knowing how many calories my body has burned a day. There is nothing that makes me want to work out more than seeing how many calories I really burned during a workout. And the coolest thing is that it is the real amount of calories you burned, not just some randomly generated number from an app on your phone.

Here is my calorie count for the day, although I did switch it up and move my shake to my last meal of the day.

Breakfast: 1 cup of cooked oatmeal, 1 small apple, 1 packet trivia 

Lunch: 1 serving Chicken Tikka Masala with rice, 1/2 c of grapes

Afternoon snack: 1/2 piece of yellow cake, 1/3 of a piece of brownie

Dinner: 4 buffalo chicken egg rolls, 1/2 cup steamed veggies, 1 cup watermelon

Evening Snack: Shakeology, 1 c almond milk,  1 banana, 1 tbsp almond milk

Total for the day: 1690 calories (arg I need to eat more!)

Water: 3 liters

Workout: Turbo Fire, Fire 30, Stretch 10

Now on to the good stuff!! 

For dinner I cooked Buffalo Chicken Egg Rolls. I got the recipe at Can You Stay For Dinner, and as always I couldn't leave well enough alone and had to shake up her wonderful recipe! So if you want the original head on over. Or just keep reading and get close to it!

Buffalo Chicken Egg Rolls

Ingredients: 

• 12 egg roll wrappers 
• 1 cup (6 oz) of cooked chicken, shredded  (I had 8 oz of left over chicken and it made 16 rolls)
• 1-2 Tbsp Sriracha hot sauce (or whatever you have on hand)
• 1 cup crumbled blue cheese (4 oz) 
• 1 cup of broccoli slaw or coleslaw, make sure its dry
• small bowl of water
• non stick cooking spray 

Directions:

Preheat oven to 400

Lay out the egg roll wrapper on a clean work surface. In a bowl stir chicken** together with hot sauce until coated, feel free to use more hot sauce, we don't like horribly spicy things at my house, or take some away if you dont like my amount! Next place a little bit of the chicken on the wrappers, then 1-2 tablespoons of the slaw, and half a table spoon of the blue cheese crumbles. Don't over fill! I didn't have this problem. 

To fold: Dab a bit of water on the 4 corners of the wrapper. Fold the left and right sides in. Put a line of water at the top of the wrapper and roll from the bottom up and when you get to the top lightly press the  loose part of the wrapper to the roll. If this doesn't make any sense, just play with it. That's what I ended up doing to get the best roll.

Place the finished rolls on a pan sprayed with non stick cooking spray and place in the oven. Bake 12-15 minutes or until golden brown.  About 10 minutes into cooking I flipped them over and sprayed them with the non stick cooking spray to make them brown and crunchy all over. 

Like I said above, I did this with leftover chicken. You can cook half a pound of chicken and shred it and use it in this recipe. 

This was a perfect leftover recipe and if you have random ingredients laying around your kitchen I suggest you put them in an egg rolls. We decided tonight that they would be awesome with mexican food too, with some corn and black beans and cheddar cheese! Yum!

These only have 101 calories each! So good! 

That's What it Takes

Today was good. I got up and took Axel the Puppy to see my brother Stephen at Tractor Supply because he wanted to show him off to his boss. So we dropped by real fast and because we were the first dog of the day, they took his picture on a display for a dog food and he got a bag of free dog food! I've never gotten anything like that before! All because my dog is adorable! It's not the type of food he eats, but we have a year or so to switch so I'm not worried about it.

At Tractor Supply I picked up some flea treatment for Winnie, who was going outside today, and also a flea collar. I really don't want her tracking fleas into my newly sprayed yard. Okay, I got the most adorable dog pillow today and it was super cheap. Everything at Tractor Supply is SUPER CHEAP!!! Usually we get puppy pads at Petco, and we got a pack of 100, and they were 42 bucks, but at TS (Tractor Supply, just going to abbreviate) it was only 19 bucks... can you believe that? From now on I'm getting all my stuff at TS, plus they have the spray we use on the floor and on fabric that gets the smell of urine out of it so that the pets don't associate the place they pee with urine smell and keep coming back.

Came home and took Winnie outside and flea treated her and then I let her roam around, she took to it very well and wanted to adventure everywhere. I showed her where the food and water was (because it is very hot, and I want her to be able to ALWAYS have water outside. Came in after spending time with her and cried about it.

Then I decided to tackle the "girls room" where Winnie and Reesie were staying. It is my old bedroom and when Corey moved in, mom let us have the big living room area, that is off the main part of the house, and I moved out of my room. The living room is big enough for our queen bed, a huge couch, dressers, TV, book shelves and various tables that have our stuff all over them. It is a huge room. So we moved "the girls" into my old room, with all their stuff, including all our boxed up wedding gifts. Other than putting the gifts in the room, I hadn't done much to them. Some were still in gift bags or boxes. And the cats had clawed up pretty much all the bags, which were full of hair. I have swept in that room, but haven't really decatifed the room. It was a mess! So I spent the rest of the morning from 10 till 1 cleaning up. I rearranged, moved things, moved presents into better boxes, vacuumed, swept, vacuumed more... yeah it was pretty hairy (hahaha). I think that there was enough hair in there to re-hair at least 2 other cats, or 6.

After that I felt filthy and didn't want to work out like I was. I didn't feel like working out. But I knew that I needed to, so I decided after dinner with the family that I would come home and do my workout.

My cousin graduated today and his dad came in from Canada, and so we had a big dinner for my cousin to celebrate his college graduation! I was good at dinner, but I was really hungry because I didn't have much for lunch. And I did eat some cake and a little sliver of brownie, I figured that I would work it off later!

We ended up playing a card game that took 2-ish hours and I didn't get home till about 9. But I was pumped and determined to work out. I mean usually I don't go to bed until 11 or 12, so I went ahead and did it. I did my 25 minute HITT class and also my 30 minute Sculpt, and it felt great! I killed it and I was so glad that I had!!

Tomorrow, I'm going to vegg out! And workout! Or maybe I'll go ride my bike tomorrow night... something to think about. Hopefully it won't be too hot. I'll check the forecast. I want to get to the point where I can ride 10+ miles :).

The Bodybugg sight is down for maintenance, so I don't have how many calories that I have eaten today, so I'm just going to write out what I ate and how much, tomorrow I'll come back in and tally up how much I ate!

Saturday's Breakdown:
Breakfast: Shakeology, 1 c almond milk, 1 tbsp almond butter, 1 banana (461 calories because I eat this every day!!)

Lunch: 2 oz Cornflake Chicken, 13 baked green beans, 1/2 cup blueberries, 1.5 cup watermelon

Snack: 1 cup cooked oats, 1 packet truvia, 1/2 c blueberries, 1 tsp almond butter

Dinner: 2 chicken strips, 6 oz pork, 2 tbsp bbq sauce, 1/4 cup mustard coleslaw, 6 corn chips, 2 cups watermelon, 8 cherries, 1/2 piece of yellow cake, small sliver of brownie.

Late Snack: 1/2 cup blueberries, 14 almonds

Can we say blueberries and almonds today?

Water: 4 liters

Workouts: cleaning, Turbo Fire HITT 25, TF Sculpt 30

Over all I'm super tired, and ready to hit the hay, but I have a load of laundry that has all my dirty workout clothes that I need to switch to the dryer before I go to bed!

Things I have no control over

I have read that stress can make you put on weight, and to be honest, I am stressed. I try not to let it bother me, but yes stress bothers me. You would think that a person who doesn't have a job wouldn't be stressed out, well let me tell you that this is far from the truth, I think it makes me more stressed out.

Maybe I've just had a shitty day, I don't know but there are a couple of things that have been bothering me, and you (if you stick around after this WARNING) get to hear about it.

So if you haven't been keeping up with the blog here is the DL about my job status. I graduated in December, got a job in January that lasted 2 months. My boss was verbally abusive and just a bitch, and so I left because it wasn't worth the pain and stress it was causing me. I live with my mom (and my husband who is out of town a lot) so I don't have rent or a mortgage. We are able to live only off Corey's pay check because we just don't spend money. SO there you go!

Now to the fun stuff (not really), I can't find a job. I feel 100% discouraged. There are no jobs in my field, and while I'm qualified to work as a secretary, so far, no one wants to hire me. It is beyond frustrating and I feel like a total failure. My husband has no support, we don't have a place that is ours... its just awful. I'm thankful every day for my mom, but I want to get out and be married.

So it all boils down to what kind of job can I get? Should I go to graduate school? I don't even know what I want to do if I did go back. Should I just hide in academia until the economy looks better? Do I want more student loans? If I go back to school should I pick a second degree?

The answer to all these questions is: I don't know.

I don't know what I expected when I graduated, maybe a photography job would fall out of the sky into my lap... (yeah right...) but that didn't happen and now I don't know what to do, and I feel like I've thought it over so many times I've just confused myself, and I'm not any closer to deciding what I should do. When I graduated, I wanted to go to graduate school. I felt like I had so much more learning to do. But after I was out for a while I realized, "What do I do with a masters degree in photography?" I don't really like portrait photography, which is really what people like, and I don't want to go into business for myself.

I keep thinking that this is a blessing because I get a chance to focus on me, on my health and on fitness and trying to lose this weight while I have a pause in my life. But there really isn't a pause to life and I don't really know what to do... *sigh*

---

Now the second thing that has been stressing me out lately is this: When I came home to live with my mom after ASU, I had two cats, Reesie and Winnie. Reesie is a black cat and is as sweet as sugar. Winnie is a fluffy black and white cat and is very mean. She does not like other animals and can barely tolerate Reesie. Well Corey has one cat named Pixie and every time Winnie sees Pixie she attacks, brutally. She will even attack the door to the room Pixie stays in. We have had to separate the two sets of cats in different rooms, because they just can't get along.

Now that the puppy is here, Winnie hates him. Winnie tolerated Rosie, but would try to trap her in corners and Rosie couldn't get out. And I can't imagine what Winnie would do to Axel if he came near her. And she is so fat and big from the lack of exercise because they can't get out of the rooms all the time, and if that 20 pound cat attacked me (which she almost did tonight) it would effin hurt!

We have tried so many things to get Winnie to accept the other animals in the house. I have read countless articles about it, and nothing works. It's so frustrating. So I called Corey (who is out of town.. more about that later) and I told him that she is just going to have to be an outside cat from now on. I just can't do this. You can't leave them in a room all the time. They don't get exercise or get to be around other people and animals and I can't keep punishing Reesie and Pixie, who would be fine together given the chance, because of one mean cat. So she is going outside. She is 7 years old and I feel like this is all my fault, but I had no idea she would turn out to be so mean and she wouldn't accept other pets.

This is Reesie

Corey and Winnie

Winnie

Pixie

So the question is what do I do? I hate to put her out, but I don't feel like I have any other choice. I love her but she doesn't love anyone but me, Corey and rarely mom. Anyway, she is going to be outside. We have a covered back porch and she should be fine, lots of room to roam around and move, and maybe thats just the whole problem.

I'm just going to pray that I get a job, or that somehow I figure out what to do with my life. But really, I just feel like a failure. I'm 26 and I have graduated from college and am married, thats it!

---

Despite the fact that I can't get a handle on my professional life, I have decided to do some more things to spice up my weight loss. First off I have decided not to cut my hair until I drop all my weight. At the end I'll get it all chopped off and donate it. (can't wait for that already!) Secondly, I'm going to eat the exact amount of calories that the bodybugg says I should, usually I eat between 1500-1700 calories a day just because thats usually what fills me up, unless I eat out or eat something out of the norm (see yesterday's sonic blast...) But the bodybugg says I should eat 2150 calories, which is a lot more than 1500. I'm going to do it for a week and see if it makes a difference in how I feel and if I lose more weight. I'm not going to put in bad stuff to supplement my food, just more of the good stuff, make sure to eat snacks and such.

Here is the breakdown of my meals today:

Breakfast: Shakeology, 1 banana, 1 c almond milk, 1 tbsp almond butter (same old same old): 461 calories

Lunch: Ciabatta roll, 3 tbsp tomato sauce, 1 oz mozzarella cheese, 1/2 oz of pepper jack cheese, 1 cup of water mellon: 393 calories

Snack: 1 cup (cooked) oats, 1/2 cup blueberries, 1 packet of Truvia: 201 calories

Dinner: 2 meatballs 5 oz ground beef, 1 1/2 cup penne pasta, 2 pieces garlic bread, 1 oz mozzarella, small salad, 1 1/2 tbsp ranch dressing, 2 fried mushrooms, 1/2 cup tomato sauce: 1143

Post Dinner snack: 20 oz orange shaved ice: 300ish calories (this is just an estimate not really sure about this)

Total Calories: 2491 calories


Water: 5 liters


Work out: Fire 55 EZ

According to the bodybugg I burned 3530, which gives me a deficit of 1039, which should keep me on track to lose 2 pounds this week.

I did over eat at dinner, but I went out to eat with family. Tomorrow I know we are having BBQ for dinner, so I think I'm just going to go without the bun (bread) because it'll give me heart burn. Glad I haven't been eating so much during the day. If I'm going to meet my total goal of 2150 calories I will need to eat more. The funny thing is though that I'm not hungry. I meant to eat a snack between lunch and breakfast, but I was so busy worrying about jobs and graduate school that I wasn't hungry.

Good days!

Today was a good day! I woke up and ate my shakeology! Yum! I knew that I was going to have to workout today so I just made up my mind to do it, and once I realized that I had to do it, I felt much better.

After I got up, I knew that today was going to be bath day for Axel the puppy. He is so little and so close to the ground, that he picks up dirt easily. I brush him every day, and that helps some, but he just needs a bath. It'll be better as he gets older, just because he won't be so small! Anyway, so I ran some warm water in the tub, because I read that rather than holding him down in the sink I should give him some room to move around. All he wanted was out once he got in, considering it was only his second bath ever, I am willing to believe that eventually he will come to like them.

So after the bath was over I took him outside to sit in the sun, because it is warm and he shivers. Plus he dries faster that way. I don't feel comfortable using the hair dryer on him yet, because he is so small. So the sun it is! I tried to pick a time when he was a little calmer, but he wanted out of my lap, I was sitting in the carport with him in my lap and he took a flying leap out of my lap and I tried to grab him and instead tipped him to where he did a half flip in the air and the hit the concrete (next time I swear I'm going to do this in the grass, damn the bugs!) and smacked his head. He whimpered and cried and started to shiver and it just about gave me a heart attack. I held him and pet him and tried to calm him down. I wish it would teach him not to go jumping out of my arms, but he promptly forgot about it and after more brushing and petting fell asleep.

He is fine. Nothing bad happened but I was worried that I had broken my poor baby. It just breaks my heart when something hurts him, and this time it was me!! I'm a bad puppy mom!

After that I worked out, I had a 25 minute HITT class and then a 30 minute Toning class. I don't know if these workouts will ever be comfortable, but I read that if it is easy then its not working, and these "aint easy"!! I'm just glad that I did it instead of blowing it off.

I went and helped my grandma cook for family dinner night. I had yummy black beans and rice and I also ate a lot of fruit. It was great. On my way home I decided to indulge in a small treat from sonic... little did I realize that a "small treat" is 890 calories!! Next time I'm picking something else. I had a small batter blast. It was good, but not that good!!

I decided that yes, I love sweets, no I can't eat them all the time, but if I don't have something now and then, I'm going to do something bad like eat half a box of cookies from kroger  and eat too much of something that I really don't want. I mean the whole point of this lifestyle change is to make the changes I need in life to lose weight, but also make it something that I can do for the rest of my life! And I will eat sweets for the rest of my life. Thats just all there is to it. So I'm not going to beat myself up for what I ate today, because for the most part, I did really good!


Here is a breakdown of my day:

Breakfast: 1c Almond milk, Shakeology, 1 Banana, 1tbsp almond butter: 461

Lunch: 3 oz chicken, fried okra, 1 tomato, 1.5 cup of watermelon: 465

Dinner: 1 c Black beans and rice with sausage, 2 small pieces of cheese bread, 2 c watermelon, 6 cherries, small salad with sprinkle of cheddar cheese and tomatoes, 1/2 tsp raspberry vinaigrette:  513

Post Dinner: Sonic Batter Blast: 890

Total: 2330

Not that happy that the sonic blast was almost 900 calories, next time I'll get something smaller. Maybe the kid size. Or I'll get something from the store that I can eat less of. I thought at the time that it was too much ice cream... oh well! It was good!!

So close to 30!

Today we went to petco to get some kitty litter, and the container was 30 pounds. I'm 4 pound away from having lost 30, and when I picked up that 30 pounds of kitty litter,  I could barely pick it up!

I can't imagine having toted around 30 pounds of weight. It almost makes me sick to think that that was on my body! Where was all that!? And I can't believe I have so much more to go!

I have been battling with feeling discouraged. Mostly because I'm not up to where I was workout wise, when I started slacking off two weeks ago. It really is a bummer to me. But I just keep telling myself that there are battles during war, and I'm waging a war, and every thing I have to over come is a battle, and a war is won one battle at a time!

So I just have to keep on going and realize that there is a bigger picture here, it may take me a while to get to where I need to be. I'm just going to take it one day at a time! Like I put in my last post: 

And that's just the truth of the whole thing! 

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Other than going to Petco today I also went to Whole Foods and also to Home Depot. Last night as I was taking a shower, the shower head is actually one of those that is on a hose and you can take it off and use it all over, rather than just being attached to the wall. Well right at the end of the shower, I dropped it and the dang thing popped off the base.... I thought at first that I had just popped it off and that I could screw it back on, but no, it was broken off. One of the plastic tubes inside was broken. So I had to get another one. 

What I go through the most in eating every week is almond milk, almond butter and bananas for my shakeology shakes. Yes I'm still doing them. This is my third bag of it, and I'm totally addicted to it. I just can't help it. They fill me up, and I get lots of good stuff in them. It is my favorite meal of the day! Anyway, so I really only like REAL almond butter, which is to say I'm totally spoiled and only like to get it from Whole Foods and get fresh ground almond butter. I go through a tub in about a month. I love it that much. I also get my almond milk there. I can get it at my local grocery store, but it's Silk and I don't want silk, I want almond milk. So I had to run up to Little Rock for the groceries. 

I love Whole Foods, but everything is so damn over priced. I mean really? I can get the exact same blueberries at my local grocery store for 1 dollar less... And I always wonder if organic is really that much better. In the case of oranges, it does taste much better.

So I picked up dinner there. I wanted something really fresh and summery so we had squash cookies (which are sliced pan fried squash with corn meal on them), fried okra (again not breaded and deep fried, but real corn meal fried okra), baked chicken, tomato and mozzarella salad, and bread. OMG it was soooo good!! I wish I had taken a picture of it!! I love meals like this, but at the same time, I never know how to count calories for it!

So here is the breakdown of my food for the day:

Before I say anything about this though, I didn't eat breakfast because I was feeling like crap and slept until 11.

Lunch: Ciabatta roll (160 calories), 1 ounce skim mozzarella cheese (71 calories), 1/2 ounce of pepper jack cheese (54 calories), 2 tablespoons of tomato sauce (14 calories) , 1 cup of grapes (104 calories)
Total: 403

Snack: Tropical Strawberry Shakeology (160), banana (109), 1 tablespoon of almond butter (101), 1 cup almond milk (40)
Total: 410

Dinner: 1/2 cup fried okra (160), 3 oz chicken with cornflakes and ranch mix (210), 1/4 of a yellow squash (45), 2 slices of tomato (11), herb and cheese bread (71), 1/2 cup tomato and mozzarella salad (48)
Total: 545

Snack: 1 1/2 cups of watermelon  (160)

That's a grand total of 1518 calories. I always figure I need to give or take about 200, but that's what I've logged for the day!

I didn't work out today because its my day off, but I'm going to hit it tomorrow and keep on trucking!

Good Night Ladies!

I'm not saying goodbye! Just good night! I just wanted to tell you all that after almost two weeks of feeling sorry for myself and feeling totally unmotivated and even less determined, I'm back in charge!

Do you see how horrible this is? That every day this is a challenge to people who have to lose weight. Every day you're faced with the challenge of giving in to cravings, to not wanting to work out. For me it's like there is an evil little voice in my head that sabotages me by telling me that I want to eat a whole bag of potato chips, or that I want to binge on a box of cookies until I feel disgusted and disgusting. Some days its worse that others, and sometimes there aren't any cravings, and I'm super excited to work out.

Yes, I've not been the best of weight losers lately, but crazily I haven't gained weight. Weird, I know. Who knows why. I'm so close to losing 30 pounds I can taste it! And I've been doing turbo fire for almost 3 months.

I'm starting to realize that some of the things I'm struggling with aren't just going to go away. Like my cravings for sweets (I wish I could just stop eating sugar for my whole life), my desire to binge. It really really helps that there isn't anything in the house to binge on. Eating all the cherries in the bag, or all the blueberries that are left isn't nearly as satisfying as busting into a bag of chips or eating a half a pie. This is probably something that I'm going to struggle with. And I just wonder why do I do this? Why do I feel like I have to binge? All the people I see on reality TV that deal with eating disorders who are trying to lose weight, binge for a reason. I've had a pretty good life, so why?

There's no telling, but I know that this is something that I'm going to keep having to deal with. Something that is going to be a problem. So I'm going to have to keep fighting. I think I need to set another goal. I tried giving up meat, yes I told you I would try for a month, but it lasted a week. It just isn't going to happen. I don't like enough things that are meatless to try to be a vegetarian. I don't know I'll think about it. Maybe I need to make my goal to write down everything I'm eating I stopped doing it, and I don't know that I can afford to do that. Every day no matter what I eat... I'll record what I'm eating, I'll even do it here. I'll do it for a week! It will help keep me more honest, that's for sure!

I've seen a lot of my Facebook friends who have been losing weight, and I'm so proud of each of them. I won't name you ladies, if you come here and read my blog, but I'm so happy that ya'll are doing this! It just makes me realized that there are so many people out there that are going through this journey too. And while most of the time I feel so isolated and alone (except for my mom :)) there are other women my age struggling the same way I am. No matter if you have to lose 150 pounds or if you want to lose 20 its still hard. So props to those ladies that I know who are killing it at the gym and for all the other people I don't know who are trying to do this too!

I don't usually post these little motivational pictures and such here, but I have two that I just love. One is from one of my friends who told me that she keeps this with her all the time as a way to stay motivated. I love it and love her! It's pretty awesome

This second one I saw on a group I follow who is doing a documentary on the Ragnar Relay  and they always have wonderful things to say about going when things get hard!!

Love it! I just want every single person who reads this to know that if you are doing this, you totally can! I can and so can you!

How Hard Is It?

Hello! After a week plus hiatus from working out (I did work out once last week...) I am back at it. And today kicked my ass. As I was working out today I thought of something that I wanted to talk about on my blog. Something that people forget when they start an endeavor to lose a large (or huge) amount of weight.

This is hard. Its hard. Losing weight is hard.

There are so many little things that make the journey worth it, fitting into a pair of blue jeans you have had for years. Fitting into a tshirt that was tight. Not having to stretch out a tshirt just to wear it. Looking at the outfit that you went on your first fancy date with your husband and knowing soon, you'll be able to fit into it, no matter how small it seams. Having people ask how much weight you have lost.

Those are wonderful things, and they make this journey so worth it. There are also things that make it hard, going to your favorite restaurant and knowing that what you want will make you gain two pounds from the salt alone. Looking at thin people and wondering if that will ever be you. And so many more things to count. The one that has been bothering me lately is that you have to mentally tell yourself that you are going to do something. Its all in your head, yes I am going to work out today. No, I'm not going to go to Sonic and get french fries (bleh!!). Yes, oatmeal really is a good lunch. All those tiny little decisions that you (or me!) make every day to lose the weight.

Is it worth it? Hell yes. Is it hard? Hell yes. Do you have to tell yourself every day that this is something that you want? Yes.

I'm coming to realize that I can't beat myself up for every little mistake. Did I drink enough water today? No, but I can't do anything about it, except to drink the right amount the next day. Did I work out? No. And when I say that to myself, and I say I'll do it tomorrow, I REALLY have to mean it.

In the end this is for me. In this one instance, I need to be selfish. I am doing this because I NEED to lose this weight. I'm doing this for better health, to learn on the way to love my body, for my health when I get pregnant, because I deserve this.

I really and truly believe that everyone deserves to be healthy. When I started Turbo Fire, and doing the Shakeology, my beach body coach asked me why I wanted to do this, and I told her that I deserved it. That even though I have put my body through hell for the past 10ish years, that I deserve to be healthy. Its one of the best presents I can give myself. And now, even though its hard, I'm going to have to fight for it, because I can't afford to get comfortable. I have lost 26 pounds, and I have more to go!

AWOL

So, things have kinda been slow around here and last week was a bum week. I didn't feel very motivated to do anything... and I didn't shame on me! I really need to be kicked in the butt sometimes to get going!

Sorry for the loss of communication for a week! I think if you read this regularly then you should expect this. I'm so bad about this, I just lose momentum. But in all honesty I can afford to do that. I'm still using my body bugg, haven't been working out as much and so I decided to repeat last week because I was not a good weight loss person.

I have been doing so good! I can't afford to quit now!

So like I said not much to update on because of being a lazy bones. BUT there is one small change to my life he help to make it hard to work out...

We got a puppy! His name is Axel and he is 6 weeks old. He is a Morkie, which is a yorkie and maltese mix. SO adorable and he is just teeny tiny. I have some pictures that I'm going to share. The first night with us was horrible!! He cried just about all night long and I think both mom and I are still recovering from it. The second night was better and he didn't wake up until I had to pee at 4. And then last night was good and so was the night before last, this will be his 5th day with us. Still some adjusting but overall he is good. Honey, our other dog doesn't appreciate that he wants to nurse on her... she just runs away from him.

The cats are curious but I'm scared to let them out while he is awake because he wants to play and they don't know what puppy play is like! But I'm going to let them out tonight while he sleeps in his kennel.

After a bath all tuckered out and warm from the sun!

He hates his car carrier

Last night. Its hard to get a pic of him moving because when he is
awake that's all he does!

Cuddle Buddy

That's it for now, that's my munchkin!! Honey has a vet visit today and I'm going to make a list of questions to ask the vet about my puppy. Do you know they twitch in their sleep?